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Writer's pictureGretchen Spetz, MS, RDN, LD

On My Imperfect Humaning

Updated: Nov 8


This is the beginning of a journey of me sharing with you what's on my heart and in my soul. My favorite thinkers share their imperfections, so here I am, sharing some slivers of my imperfect human journey with you. Let's call this Imperfect Humaning.


These thoughts are not about the best food to eat to optimize your blood sugar, your liver, your brain, your heart (don't worry, we will continue to have lots of posts and videos about that).


This is about something that touches our health every bit as much as food. And that is connection with our fellow humans. My hope is that you may find some human connection here over the common ground of our imperfect lives.


Let's talk about feelings. Yesterday, in the wake of the 2024 election, I opened up my Instagram account to so much hurt and so much hate. I saw it in a post from one of my favorite yoga teachers. I saw it from big accounts on both sides of the aisle. I would be lying to you if I said I wasn't affected; the taunting, the put downs, words tearing down the humanity of whatever side is deemed wrong made me see red. My hands were shaking with anger, and sharp retorts were blaring through my head. My brain yelled at my body to "shake it off, bitch!" That totally didn't work. My body has been buzzing with anger, my brain struggles to stay focused on the task at hand, my mind shouts at me that "I know better" that to succomb to my anger.


Have you ever taken a second (or days, like me) to dig beneath your anger and find the real feelings underneath? For me, it is sadness, and the sadness is so deep in my gut. It feels like iron, like a stone tethering me to an almost physical pain (and sometimes, that physical pain is real. My fellow IBS friends probably can relate).


Whenever I'm really sad, I always feel anger and frustration first. It's embarrassing to write this, and I wish this wasn't my knee-jerk feeling. But don't we all? Isn't this why so many are lashing out against friends and strangers online and in real life?


For me, the sadness deepens knowing that this display of anger and hurt comes from so much pain. Of course people are verbally lashing out against fellow humans they know or don't know. It's a reflexive reaction when you are in pain.


We are in a collective state of pain. The world feels heavy, no matter how you voted. What can we do about our collective pain? For me, it begins imperfectly, and it's not about bravado statements supporting this, that or the other, or telling the world how you told someone off.


For me, it's about turning inward and assuming responsibility for feeling my feelings first. It's about finding the most thoughtful and meaningful way to offer a response in the best way I see fit. This takes TIME.


I'm feeling the feels of anger and sadness, and I am not giving myself a timeline. The feelings are waves; they crash and fall. I'm crying, balling my fists, and talking with my most trusted friends and family. I'm going to bed early. I'm walking outside in the morning and letting the quiet of early dawn ground my body.


The more I feel, the quieter the feelings get. My thoughts get clearer, and they feel less angry and more aligned.


You may find this to be wildly self-indulgent or a bunch of woo woo. What about taking action today, now?


My work is for the individual, for you. For your personal health journey. What would happen if we all turned inward first, dug into our feelings, and took the steps we need to fully feel and process before reacting? What if you gave yourself the time to feel and heal before acting?


There is so much power in taking care of our individual stress response. The butterfly effect from this is that collectively, I think we would see more thoughtful conversation, listening, companionship, and a lot less hate.


My hope is that the middle finger emoji would be used significantly less.

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